I wanted to give an update. It's a long story and I wish I had more people to talk about this with, but I am trying really hard to break things off.

He's depressed and I want him to get better, but I don't think it's healthy for us to both be in a relationship when we're still working on ourselves (I have anxiety, too). I feel like I've been more or less miserable for most of the relationship and I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm sure he'll try again and again to keep us together, but I just want to be single. To travel and drive and sing and do nothing whenever I want. I love living alone. I want my own Wild story. Maybe I need to hike and travel until I feel like myself again, because for the past 2.5 years I've been trying to salvage a relationship that just isn't going to work.

... Plus, I feel like a relationship isn't for me right now, just like having kids isn't for me. I have also been bi-curious for a while. I'm not sure if I should tell him that, I don't know how much he can handle.

I at least want I break. For some reason it's so hard to just have a clean break. I want him to move out and figure his life out. I have realized that if I had been single all this time, I could have saved up enough money to do more of things I want.