Thank you dear Thirty shades, this is what I have found too.

They really do end up biting in the end. And they reject me to trigger me.

I don’t “hate doctors” or “all professionals” (irl) or I don’t want to... but having been hurt so many times leaves me with almost zero trust in them... and not much trust in myself either.

I “get by” but barely... I’m so tired

Much love to you and all who are suffering