I’ve struggled with depression and bipolar disorder for basically my whole life. I spent a large majority of my childhood quite and reclusive. And in highschool I considered myself to be a very dark person. I was always jaded and saw the worst in the world. I coped with alcohol, drugs, and sex. Yet I wasnt really suicidal. I was just depressed but had hope that my future would turn out better.

Fast forward a few years and I’ve seen a major shift. I’m not a “dark” person anymore. I actually have a lot of love and support to give. Im always there for people and actually don’t consider the world to be a terrible place. Too many people have great lives for it to be that bad. However I do consider my life to be a mess. And I’ve noticed that even though my view of life is brighter my suicidal thoughts have increased.

Has anyone else noticed this? I feel that most of the time when suicide is talked about you’d consider those people to be past the point of return. That they must have truly felt the world was too awful to continue in. But what about those who don’t fit into that category? Is there anyone who maybe understands what I’m getting at here?