I'm very much the same way.

For a while I questioned if I was overthinking things: that I was overanalyzing my actions, exaggerating how lazy he was, questioning if our interactions are actually any fun. I didn't learn how to communicate my feelings properly growing up with my parents, either. So tension built up in my relationship and I didn't know how to deal with it.

I struggled with that for 2.5 years, and just yesterday I broke it off. I couldn't handle the uncertainty, the constant re-evaluation of the relationship. At a certain point I just "knew" I wasn't meant to be in this relationship, even though we're compatible, get along, etc.

You mention that you feel tense around him. Why? Is it your own underlying feelings that maybe he's not "the one?" Is there a lack of chemistry? You also mention he might not be that attractive to you. I imagine, much like I used to, that you try to overlook "looks" and see into their personality, but I have to tell you, being sexually attracted to someone is huge. You have to have that. No, it's not ALL about looks, but maybe just a bit? I felt the same way about my partner. He's cute, but just not my type.

Now, I'm not trying to force you into any decision. That'll be up to you. But I read this about a year ago, and I wish I had taken that advice when I read it. But instead I let the relationship drag on because I clung to a sliver of hope that I could be happy with him again.

People might tell you to make a list of pro's and con's of the relationship, but if I've learned anything in the past few years, it's go with your gut. Love is an emotion, and you can't "logic" your way into it. Just do whatever is going to ease YOUR suffering, even if it hurts others (and again, my bf being heartbroken and lost stopped me from breaking up with him before. I would try to ask for a break and he'd argue his way out of it).

Stop trying to think about you in respect to your relationship and just focus on what's best for YOU. <3

I feel for you so much right now. Let me know if you need to talk more, we are here for you!