Thanks Mulan...

This is some of it ...

I guess it’s like your post about being so much misunderstood, lonely, in “survival” mode for so long.. teachers didn’t like me, class mates didn’t like me, parents were disappointed in me and the mother in particular was “indifferent” ...they wanted a perfect doll who had all their interests and none of my own)..I didn’t know me, nobody knew me.. I got good grades (most of the time) But was dissociated too, hiding, surviving ... and I don’t know a way out of the **** hole I’m in (“just” “forget it”and “move on”? ) I’ve never known “normal”

People who don’t know me or like me judging my “potential” No interest in the human who is fuzzy bear...

I don’t think papa bear’s family like me either.. the maternal unit said how “people will wonder what he sees in her” ... ouch I “couldn’t” give my own mother “pleasure” - what a pos of a bear