Today I wanted to be with someone and I realized it was my abandoment Schema working, my fresh made friends will be there and won't leave if I ask for help. I had a brief thaugh of them as my parents and that thought helped me so much. They won't be instable and unavailable as my parents, because with all deficits they are good and smart people I can discuss music, books and stories with and rant on other people. I suddenly felt so much calm and decided I should keep going on with my life and making decisions on what to do next without validation.
I can expect them to be available for me always but they appreciate me and be there whenever I need. It's calming thinking about this.
Anyway I need so much validation even so.