Having childhood traumas suck. It's terrible for your own happiness. I have made 80% of the path towards my well being without any understandment irl. And is so ****ing important to be validated.
I barely had someone to asks me if I was ok, any time, I screamed depression and my shink sister couldn't see it, just lecture me for all my falts... I was só much afraid to ask for help, not because I didn't want it, but because of the criticism and lack of emotional support around. It got guts to look and schedule appoitments with good shrinks and therapists. But here I go on my own. I am very goal oriented (childhood trauma result?) and I know what I want (feel good)... I am trying to ignore all the abusers abuse and have anyhow cordial relations with them and find my own group of non abusers (I have some ideas).