Will these 10 days in Spain be the first time meeting him or just the first time meeting his family? Is the long distance with a goal of eliminating the distance in mind?
I think long distance is a difficult path and it's no wonder that you feel up and down with staying or ending it. It's an energy drain in its own way. It's like one foot inside of everyday reality and the other foot inside trying to make something work that isn't a physical reality.