I cant believe that it didnt occur to me before that the real issue was me being a kid in a candy store. But like, once i confessed that i wouldnt be able to handle the people who were bad actors without losing my mind, that was free to bubble up. Ive actually started losing weight (ounces practically, but still!) since my sweetie started working there, cuz i wont buy sweets from him. My mind is broken.