I am not schizophrenic. I am weak. I live in a cell of a life. I'm stopping my injection. The army guys on tinychat told me to kill myself and that they are schizophrenic and can deal with it and I'm worth nothing because I take the injection. They say I have no emotions and it's like talking to a wall because of the xanax and the invega injection. They say I'm attractive and need to **** women and have children to take care of me when I'm old and be a real man and that I'm liberal and it's bad to be a hippy and America is the greatest country on earth and will take over the world. That I'm a sad individual and I'm being brainwashed by doctors and psychiatrists and I'm a victim of the medical system and need to be sober and do push ups when ever someone tells me to and that I can't do meaningless work which I have to and have to be bullied by higher authorities in society to make it up the economic ladder and that I should join the army and it will knock some sense into me and everyone has psychosis.

I fully believe this even though I don't. But I have to believe it because we talked for 3 hours and they helped me more than anyone ever has.

I'm going to flush my xanax and be sober. I will go to the gym and go on hikes and that I'm a zombie. Apparently it's important to have a girlfriend to hold and bla bla bla

I will live life without mental illness because everyone has mental illness of some sort. I'm stopping my seroquel.

This will be my last post on here because mental health is all I seem to know and obsess about and I need to unplug. But I have two perspectives and I'm brainwashed in both ways. I don't know what to do. I feel bad because everyone expect expectations from me so I should just work and get off disability and eventually kill myself because that's how the world works. That's how the fittest survive.

My mental health has never been this bad and it's only going to get worse. I should be in the hospital but I don't care because the hospital is for weak people I'm told and I want to live a good life. Screw my empathy it gets me no where i might as well do coke and throw my life away.