{{{{{{{{{{{{Crying}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry that you hurt. I too am sick and tired of the inner me causing "chaos"......it is not pleasant.

I wouldn't know what "normal" is if it bit me - I'm trying to settle for feeling peace instead of chaos. I'm trying to focus on the things that people tell me - from here and my T- that I am a worthwhile person, that I have value, that I am not a "waste of space"........it is very hard to do. After years of believing the other, it doesn't always work and then I do something stupid to myself. It is a habit to bring yourself down - to feel like this.

You are not alone though - we are here to talk to. Please don't forget that, and come here more often - it will help.

Mary Alice

P.S. I care about you