Humpty I can only hope you're doing better... I thought about you for a long time last night. And I hope I haven't done any harm. I've wanted so much to help.

There's just one more thing I wanted to add about the nature of depression itself, and that is that I've found over the years that it's a whole lot easier if you learn techniques to nip it in the bud, than if it has carried you down into the vortex and landed on you, keeping you there.

Because at that stage, it really is self perpetuating and one doesn't see any way out. As you said in your first post, your mind will go around and around on a sort of treadmill in which there is no opening. (mixing metaphors there)...

The only thing I've found that works at that stage, and it's the very last thing you feel like doing, is to find something that breaks the cycle. For some it can be physical activity, for some just going to a movie, or whatever, but whatever it is for the moment it will lift you out of that awful place where you've been stuck and into a different place. Hoping you can find that...
((((((:group hug))