it’s been something I’ve been trying to do for some time... with some success possibly, then something else comes along, some other scary something..

With CPTSD I don’t welcome scary medical somethings hanging over me ... it’s supposed to be a healthy thing to go to a doctor (etc) for check ups. In my personal situation I think I’d be healthier psychologically and probably physically
if I had
skipped all check ups ... of course in the “future” (if I’m still here) skipping them could cause.. issues

I’ve been traumatised by medical appointments (etc) so many times that ... my anxiety sky rockets if I have to go near any of them, and in anticipation of that. I’m not at all sure that writing this out is helpful to me as I don’t need “advice” ... it’s something I’ll have to “deal with” or not..