Sorry how long this is PC - trying not to journal to T. It's been a week.....

Would it be possible for me to purchase furniture covers for your new furniture and have you use it for my sessions? I really dislike your new furniture from a textural and practical standpoint. I mean, I know I just started sitting on the couch 2 or 3 weeks ago rather than the floor. This might push me back to the floor before I am ready.

And I realized that another thing I hate about this space is it feels like you are further dividing yourself ... on this side of the room you are Dr. S, pDoc... on that side of the room, you are a real person. I struggle enough with my reality that this is going to cause me a problem. You know I didn't really realize how much I struggle with the nature of my reality until I started seeing you. No wonder I don't have friends. For me, they really do become strangers/different people when behaviors are off and I have to reset my understanding of them within my world context - they become person A... before said behavior and person B after.

I'm not sure about seeing you tomorrow. I'm not sure how I feel about you buying a puzzle. I know it was your idea. But you're buying something for me. I guess really is for my therapy, like any other therapeutic tool. I don't know. Still feels wrong. And when we are done with it, am I to take it home? btw, what are we going to do with all these puzzles. The 2 we already have finished seemed ok, the 3rd we just did and now we'll have 2 or 3 more and you said we could do as many as it takes. You talked about us building something while doing them... what will it mean to take them back apart and put them back in the boxes? I know with the one under the couch, that means I am put away. I wonder how I'll feel about the others. The one we just did feels like if we take it apart right now, it is only showing me how easily something we build can be demolished or deconstructed. Is that the message you want to teach me? Perhaps your thought is that with each puzzle I'd learn that things ebb and flow. The problem is... is that dividing of you. Each puzzle the build is with a different you, not a new thread to the same you.

Oh well.