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Old Mar 18, 2019, 04:13 AM
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ElectricManatee ElectricManatee is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,515
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
I know I shouldn't worry yet, but I am about my nieces. I think the baby will be easier than the one year old. Baby will eat, poop, and sleep for the most part. Yes, I know they need touch and interaction too, and I'll need to know her schedule, but she doesn't need as much as the one year old. The one year old is mobile and can get into things. She also has the "terrible two's" attitude and loves pushing boundaries. I don't know what to feed her, what calms her down, what puts her to sleep, does she still take bottles, how much do I discipline her (I think I may be more strict than my sister). My sister had 9 months to plan for a baby, and has spent 1.5 years bonding with my niece and has experience on exactly what to do. I'll be, in a sense, dropped into parenthood...with two!

My H was reading that judges normally place the kids with family. I think I'm the only one my sister listed. So there's a high probability I'll get the girls. My sister said the paternal grandma can't have custody because she's not cooperating, the paternal uncle has a felony, the paternal aunt has lied to the police and courts, I don't think my older sister could take them (idk?), and my mom can't take them because she lives in a 55+ community. If it's not me or my older sister, then the girls won't be able to stay in the family.

And boy, the boyfriend is going to be upset. One, my sister said she got the CPS report and read everything that everyone said. I told CPS the truth. Then on top of that, he does not want me to be a guardian to the girls. He thinks I'm trying to steal his kids. He doesn't understand that it's not about him, it's about the girls. And he doesn't realize that I only want the girls for them to be safe; not to take them away from their parents.

All the parents on here: I might be asking for the some advice!
It might be good to start reading up while you're waiting (because you won't have time later!). I like Elevating Childcare and No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame, both by Janet Lansbury. (Her podcast is great too.) Some of the RIE stuff is a little bonkers when taken to the extreme, but I really like the philosophy of parenting from a place of connection and setting boundaries that work for you and the kid.

You might also Google "therapeutic parenting." Foster parenting is a whole other level. I don't know if the kids have any trauma in their background already, but if they don't, then being taken away from their primary attachment figure(s) and sent to live with somebody else will be traumatic in itself.
Thanks for this!
Anonymous45127, LonesomeTonight, ScarletPimpernel, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks