I am suffocating in guilt. I think maybe I've got you all worried and I feel bad about that. You shouldn't have to think about me unless I'm sitting in front of you. And Dr. B shouldn't have to see me tomorrow when I come see you. I should wait like I'm supposed to until Wednesday. I just don't matter enough for you guys to get all worried and definitely not so you go out of your way for me. But I can't even tell you this because it would sound like I want to be convinced otherwise or something like that.