
Mar 18, 2019, 11:59 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 2,818
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I know I shouldn't worry yet, but I am about my nieces. I think the baby will be easier than the one year old. Baby will eat, poop, and sleep for the most part. Yes, I know they need touch and interaction too, and I'll need to know her schedule, but she doesn't need as much as the one year old. The one year old is mobile and can get into things. She also has the "terrible two's" attitude and loves pushing boundaries. I don't know what to feed her, what calms her down, what puts her to sleep, does she still take bottles, how much do I discipline her (I think I may be more strict than my sister). My sister had 9 months to plan for a baby, and has spent 1.5 years bonding with my niece and has experience on exactly what to do. I'll be, in a sense, dropped into parenthood...with two!
My H was reading that judges normally place the kids with family. I think I'm the only one my sister listed. So there's a high probability I'll get the girls. My sister said the paternal grandma can't have custody because she's not cooperating, the paternal uncle has a felony, the paternal aunt has lied to the police and courts, I don't think my older sister could take them (idk?), and my mom can't take them because she lives in a 55+ community. If it's not me or my older sister, then the girls won't be able to stay in the family.
And boy, the boyfriend is going to be upset. One, my sister said she got the CPS report and read everything that everyone said. I told CPS the truth. Then on top of that, he does not want me to be a guardian to the girls. He thinks I'm trying to steal his kids. He doesn't understand that it's not about him, it's about the girls. And he doesn't realize that I only want the girls for them to be safe; not to take them away from their parents.
All the parents on here: I might be asking for the some advice!
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It's not about being "strict;" it's about consistency and natural boundaries. Take the time to get to know a one-year-old's personality. The trick in to recognize what they need and set them up for success before they have a meltdown because you aren't proactive. You pick your battles. You learn what each child's tolerance level is for things. You don't want to be indulgent and enabling of bad behaviors, yet you want to help them work with whatever personality their little body exudes so they learn how to manage change and conflict (the two biggest triggers for most kids . . . and adults.LOL). And they are all different. Parenting is all about being attuned to the personality and teaching each child to handle life despite their personal thresholds. Boundaries, basically. Boundaries are not punishment; they are self-management.
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