Some people are mean and rude. My neighbour is like that - he, in a seemingly friendly way, consulted me on a new fence and deliberately put in the opposite - makes my garden look like a prison. Luckily unbeknown to him I've already arranged to move out.
Another woman (sounds like your person) rang me today ordering me to change existing arrangements that I've had in place for a month with someone else because that's the "only time" convenient for her.
I haven't found communicating with this sort of person to be successful myself. They just are on a different mental trip completely.
I'm glad you have a nice house and that you are doing good stuff for yourself like painting!! That's the important thing i.m.o.
Good luck!