So I had a thought to come up today and it's caused me to examine my thoughts in general. Presently, my thoughts are just what they are, thoughts. I've had them with me for so long that I don't know if there is really any harm to them anymore. I realize that the average person does not have suicidal thoughts, but I also know that the people with bipolar disorder can have them from time to time. What intrigues me is that I can be having a perfectly good day, like today, and the thought will roll across my mind. I literally check in with myself on a regular day on a regular basis, to make sure I have a plan in case I need it. Just recently, I was talking to a friend and revealed, without thinking, that some things were in place. I removed those things from my home as a result of the conversation. Since then, it's like my brain could not rest until it found a replacement plan.

Do any of you operate like this - where you feel like you need a plan even if you are not presently planning to act on it? This subject is so taboo that I really don't feel comfortable talking to anyone about it - besides, no one else that I know has these thoughts or is willing to talk about it.