I don't know when my next panic attack is. But I know I'll have one eventually.. I feel fine right now and any time I feel fine, no benzo. If I take one benzo more than twice a week then I will know that I will build tolerance and that would be bad. Day Tripper is tolerant to them and I wish I could help him but he can't sleep. I can sleep. The only thing that works for my panic attacks (Because they're so severe) is benzo or sleep. If I can somehow find a way to sleep, I will wake up fine because every time I wake up after sleeping, it's like I've taken a benzo.

I used to be the advocate for "Benzos are bad" but then I had a panic attack and I've never had a panic attack before at that time and it was so scary and I feared more then I had more. But now I'm able to realize that I'm not going to die when I have a panic attack so it's just apart of my life now that I put the weighted blanket over me and stare into space while not wanting people to see me like that although my family is very reassuring when I have a panic attack especially my dad and little sister. My mom got mad at me once when I had a panic attack because she needed to sleep and I was complaining about my heart beating fast but now I'm able to control my heart beat with my mind and make it not beat fast when I have a panic attack... it's just me being brain scrambled and not knowing where to put my phone, earbuds, smokes, laptop, etc.. like everything is foreign to me and I don't know what to do with "things" and OCD check my pulse to reassure me that my heart is still beating which sounds like insanity and I think it is..