Try to put the blame and shame on where it belongs....the abuser....abusers hate themselves and take it out on others. Abuse is always a choice. Consider finding a therapist...there was nothing (is nothing ) wrong with you, it is just that unfortunately there are so many abusers out there. 1 in 3 women will be physically assaulted and it all begins with verbal abuse. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life after 31 years of verbal and physical abuse.I think it should be required reading. xo