(((((((((( Tinker ))))))))))) I know how you are feeling from a daughter's standpoint (as I was one) and I also know from a mom's standpoint some of the things mom's worry about.

One of the hardest things ever between teens and parents is communication. And I mean more than the hollering and accusing and the "you always" - "I never" type of communication.

I think one of the things to consider here are your decision making abilities and choices. Have you been able to make good decisions about schoolwork...home life responsibilities? Have you been making safe choices about who your friends are, where you go and hang out, what you do when you are with your friends? Do you lie to your mom about where you will be and with whom or do you tell her the truth? If you have lied about anything, have you been caught in those lies? Now don't take me wrong, I'm not accusing you of doing that, but if it has happened in the past, it could be a huge reason why your mom is trying to be more controlling.

Maybe you can write down some things that you want to do with a plan for each point about how you will accomplish those things and have a talk with your mom about them when you are both in a good mood. A lot of times talking about things and showing her that you are doing your best to make good decisions and choices will help her to release the apron strings a bit. Compromise with your mom on some things. If there have been issues in the past or you have not had the opportunity to make any decisions on your own, ask your mom for a chance to spread your wings. Let her know that you may make a mistake, but would appreciate her "positive" input if that happens so you can learn from your mistakes and grow from them. We all make mistakes in this life....so to hold you hostage for making them would not be good. But helping you figure out what went wrong or even talking about how well you have done is a great way of communicating and becoming closer as mom and daughter.

It may take some work....there may be some frustrations along the way. Growing up and out can be a real pain in the rump at times. But I promise you, before you know it, you will be on your own and the sky will be the limit!

Wishing you and your mom well.


sabby