Spend your days full of emptiness
Spend your years full of loneliness
Wasting love, in a desperate caress
Rolling shadows of nights

That was the song my step dad always played in the truck.



The soldiers said good things. They are fighting for people like me. A zombie with a bunk bed and I sleep on the bottom.

Nothing makes sense. It's all in my world. My world is pictures of the past, emptiness, loneliness. Not caring about me but wanting to make me a killing machine for the government.

What's wrong with me? Everything that has happened. Everything that I let happen. I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't talk to anyone in high school because I was too ****ed up and depressed at what has happened.

Now I try to piece myself together again. The soldiers don't understand that it can't happen overnight.