I tried to post yesterday but deleted it.

This week has been hard, a lot of things have occured revolving around people.

I am back at this place where I am a little sick and tired of people, and just am not sure what good any treatment will do... I am ill because I see things differently? I see a truth that others like to hid and bury...
I am afraid I will lose my job due to I can not seem to keep some thoughts to myself.

yesterday reached back out to the place I was on a list for and got an appt next week with a therapist, so not waiting 6-8 weeks. in hopes they can direct me on where to go for a pdoc as I have had struggles with this.

I am two weeks behind on laundry, which is not me at all.
I go from so many thoughts to nothing at all. Things will be ok to I am crying and so much is felt. and worse yet memories and old feelings come about and I am stuck in time.... I have felt so busy and exhausted but yet nothing seems to be done, and I am running out of time... and yet thoughts of why silence beauty, even if it is misunderstood?
been trying to remind myself, some thoughts are just thoughts.
I will be ok, or if not- at least I tried. but I am sure this too will pass till whatever... the last two May/June's have been different and I am scared a bit.. but only time will tell.