Were you surprised to find out I have videos? What were you thinking when I said that? You didn't ask me why.

I went back and watched some of them.
I was right
I felt a bit squeamish, more so than I expected actually. But not really any emotions. What am I supposed to feel?

I'd never ask you to watch them, and I don't think you'd want to see that. But some ****ed up part of me wants you to, wants to see if you would be visibly upset by it.
Did the idea of it cross your mind? Were you at all curious? Horrified?