Thanks SilverTrees. It's self swabs. They are very thin, but even with that I worry about any pain. I will have to shave myself down there to see where I am going lol, not using tampons I am not used to locating my vagina personally, usually if having sex I have let my partner take control.

I have always feared anything going inside my vagina, even before I had a really painful smear test as a virgin. But I don't think that helped the and it's just confused me with regards to my sexuality. I can't really let go and enjoy the moment but then I am not sure if that's because I am actually a lesbian. It's very confusing when it shouldn't be. Have never been with a woman so I can't compare the experience. Until then I don't think I can be sure of why I don't enjoy sex or intimacy. But long before the sexual confusion I worried about anything entering my vagina as I wouldn't use tampons at school.