I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, lost4357669 Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're NOT a failure. You're a strong, wonderful person who's trying to do his best to survive. Be proud of yourself for that. I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You've been given some great advice on this thread. I'd suggest to follow it if you can. I'll try not to repeat it too much. It seems like you're going through a lot right now. I'm so sorry to hear this. Please don't give up. I'd suggest to just start saving some money for the future. Perhaps you'll be able to go back to school if you save enough money. Please be kind to yourself. You did some wonderful things in your life based on what you wrote. That little girl named Chelsea is right about you: you are wonderful and you will be able to achieve wonderful things! Just try to hang on as much as you can. I'm sure you'll be able to find something better soon. Keep applying for as many jobs as you can, save some money and I promise you that things will be at least a little bit better at some point. Keep fighting! You can do this! You're a strong, wonderful person. Stay strong. Stay safe and take good care of yourself. Please be kind to yourself. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, lost4357669. You don't deserve to suffer at all