This was like reading about myself, it's got me all choked up! I feel exactly like this, and much of what has happened to you has happened to me. I hope you've managed to find some help since you posted this. I myself am struggling to find closure on what's actually wrong with me - like you I know they way I'm feeling isn't normal or good, but I haven't yet been diagnosed properly. And like the last poster said, you can't just go up to someone and say "I think I have BPD" and when I think about or try telling people what's going on and how I feel I feel like people will think I'm weak or attention seeking.

Does anyone else think it sucks that the road to recovery from mental anguish requires MORE mental anguish?...... unfair....