Quote:
Originally Posted by ennie
You are not selfish. As long as you love and care for others, and not solely for yourself, you are not selfish. I knew a single person who dedicated her life to care for the youths in her community. It's ridiculous that people call you selfish just because you don't want to have kids. You care about your family and friends, and you are willing to contribute to supporting other women here on PC with your perspectives. You are not selfish at all. You are cool !
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Awww... thanks Ennie, I appreciate that!
I think there are different types of "selfish", actually.
Right now, I'm focused on myself, and that's kind of "selfish" in a very logical way, but I think it's not a bad thing. I'm trying to take care of myself, figure out what I need to function and be happy, how to literally make my life better. I think that's healthy, but I absolutely see how it could seem "selfish".
As opposed to... be willing to hurt or cheat other people to get things that you want/need, or for your own amusement. That's "bad selfish" (in my mind).
So, I'm totally OK with being the first type, and I don't think I'm the second type, so really, I don't worry too much about it
In the moment though, his comment sort of stopped me in my tracks. I hadn't realize that people actually think that it's "selfish" to *not* have kids. We have plenty of people, we're not hurting for people, and the world kind of sucks... why bring more people in to it, especially if I'm not sure I can take do a good job parenting them, because of my own issues.
But it's OK. I'm sure he has his own issues around it too. We're still friends, though sadly he's moved out of state, so we don't get to chat as much. Life goes on...
Thanks!
