Shouldn't say that "can't" word.
I do not have the tools, knowledge or strength to do the transmission. I looked up and researched and did work on the throttle control today, the wrench light is off and the car drove 10 miles, with a resting period.. idk if this fixed it, but it's promising. I'll still be taking it in because I dont trust myself enough these days for jacking up a car to do the breaks.
I'm grateful my brother tried to teach me about cars. .. I'm sorry I didn't retain a lot, but it's always has helped with gauging "may be I can do it"... and Google.

I've been agitated today though, and while I did the car work and everything put back together I kept misplacing my phone and wallet thankfully in "safe " places... but by the third Time I was getting upset with myself..

Went to the store and did simple quick shopping.. I'll finally have milk again.. ha.

Not really ready for work but I'll go, because- I'm still employed.... I've been stressed ... but geez... I just added more I think by trying to speak up... which sucks in it's own way.
I still have to put a line sentence of why I'm seeking treatment again... too many sentences form in my head... but I shouldn't be overthinking this