Our family dog passed away last year, her illness was very sudden and we did not see it coming. She went from doing everything and anything to not being able to move.

It has been 10 months since she passed but I have had a very difficult time dealing her death. We do have another pet but she was different and special. I have random thoughts about her during the day, and I see things that remind me of her at the store, parks, etc. I often find myself apologizing to her that I was not able to give her more attention when I had to go to work, or I would pretend to be taking a nap after work because I was so physically tired I didn't want to get up, or when I got tired of scratching her because we had just spoiled her so much that she constantly wanted to be pet.

I also often feel anger and animosity towards God because sometimes I see other pets that grew up with her or played with her and are thriving in their health and running around and she was taken away so soon. I feel guilty for being angry and I don't wish anything against them but I feel mad that she was taken away in such a sudden manner and didn't deserve it. She was so pure and angelic and such a blessing for me.

Its just very hard for me and I often tear up at the smallest things that remind me of her, I just feel like its wound that is not going to close up. I have stopped going some places where we would go often because I just cannot deal with the pain.

I just wish she knew that I will always be there for her no matter what and that she is not alone and should not feel alone. I just think about the moments where I should have given her the extra scratch or taken her for that extra walk even if I was too tired, just feel very guilty sometimes. I just want her to know that I really love her and that I am not going to let anything happen to her and always be with her in spirit.