I'm coming to this late, and am certainly NOT an authority about relationships.
But this thread made me thoughtful about intimacy - different styles of intimacy and of making bridges and connections.
I wondered whether going at this sideways, by developing other forms of intimacy: gazing, holding hands, massage, dancing together - I wondered whether developing other bridges might divert whatever your partners is going after and make this less hurtful?

Talking is great but it tends to dissect, and some people have a resistance to dissection and need in-between languages to feel comforted.

You have got me reflecting on my own habits about intimacy here, and how to express that with people who may likely have different habitual patterns. Thank you.