I'm so sorry for you loss. Grieving happens differently for everyone.
One of the most poignant things that I ever remember learning in a religious ed class, at a Catholic High School is that it's ok to argue with God. Not tossing this out there for some type of theoretical debate but because it actually lifted a weight off my shoulders at a time that I needed a weight lifted. Some biblical passages were actually used from the Old Testament and it has Judaic roots.