I always feel guilty, like I'm taking something I'm not supposed to have, like I have no right to feel something so personal and emotionally intimate. Like I'm somehow violating boundaries by letting myself feel so intensely.

Would you pull back if you knew? Would you be disturbed? There's a part of me that desperately wants you to tell me it's okay, you understand and that you're okay with it.

And for the millionth time I swear it's not ET.