Maybe this sound silly but I called my mom no answer of course I know that she is dead however I know that I am still not accepting her death even though she has not been gone for ten months yet.After all this time you would think I wouldnt feel this way.I cry myself to sleep sometimes just early in the morning I did it last night.How long will this feeling of sadness and denial last?I keep thinking that this is all a big nightmare and I cannot get out of it.I thought it would be gone by now.I need my mom,I do talk to her everyday and no I dont get an answer if I did I would be in more trouble.I tell her and my dad that I love them very much he is gone too.I miss Bob to he has been gone almost 15 years. Maybe this posts sounds stupid but I cannot help the way I feel.I feel like when I call her she is going to pick up the phone and talk into it.For me Idont want to die to scared.