I get reactions wrong all the time, that is part of why I post some things here to see if there are other ways to see it. I am sure T am I will circle back to it at some point. Yes, T and I will talk about shame too... right now we both have a huge list of things we want to work on and they all seem super important.

I do know I am super passive/submissive with T for many reasons, not all of them unhealthy. T also sees me put up with a lot of crap from my H. So yes it could be shocked. He also knows I am pretty “old school”.

As far as cultural it could be because I am old school more than religious. I stand when an elder enters a room, open doors, pull out chairs, “ma’am and Sir” and I talk with great respect about my grand parents and great grandparents (most of whom I had the privilege of knowing).