People are all different - parents and kids too. My parents never had a lot. They always expected me to go to college but they also always said that they couldn't pay for it. I had to ask them for help with rent once when I was a single college student out on my own, and they did, but that was all the help I ever got from them. I would have graduated from college back then except for a technical detail that I never resolved until now. Sometimes I didn't eat because I had no money, but it can be done. Some parents give their kids too much and others don't give enough (but some don't have it to give). I would be better off even now if my parents had helped me a little more than they did, but I'm here, aren't I? Just like with most issues, moderation is the key. Either extreme can be a problem. It depends on the kid too - some can use a little help and make good use of it, while others have already received too much and need to learn to find their own way. You're a good parent to both by doing what is right for them as individuals.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>