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sarahsweets · Mar 27, 2019, 02:21 AM

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Originally Posted by RubySapphire

Hello

I knew my best friend for 2 years before dating them, we were in a relationship for 3 years after that. I've known her for 5.
She's an incredibly damaged person and no matter the horrible things shes said to me and the way shes treated me, I can't let go.
She always convinces me that I'm in the wrong, that I was overreacting or that I should give her a break because shes going through alot. (She is in an abusive, messy family situation.)
I always feel bad and feel like I need to be nice and forgiving to her because of this.

How does she convince you you are wrong? Is it just because she is in a bad situation? or does she give other reasons?

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But she's a horrible person, everytime I talk to her about my problems I end up crying and getting into a fight with her. The fight resolves itself by both of us saying we're sorry and then it happens again.

Do you have kids or nephews/nieces/young cousins? How would you advice them if they were in a situation like this with their friends?

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I can't seem to let go of her because shes my best friend, shes been there for me through so much but it doesn't change the pain I deal with.

How has she been through a lot with you? Do you mean just because you have stayed in touch? How has she supported you through hard times?

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I've tried many times to break it off, so many people call her abusive and I know that, I know shes not good for me.

I feel like if I break off my friendship with her, the stories we had together would be a waste, I wouldn't have a best friend anymore.

Memories are not a waste. And if she was a best friend she wouldnt treat you this way. Even the good memories are not that good if they are overshadowed by her negative friendship.

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I just need help, trying to break it off, I want to but at the same time I'm stuck.

We teach other people how to treat us, and if we allow poor treatment with no consequences that treatment will continue. Has she ever truly apologized for being this way? Has she ever admitted to being wrong? You are going to have to decided how much you are willing to take from her, and she will not change her behavior if you do not change yours towards her.