I see this is your first post, welcome to PC!

This certainly sounds like an issue that you may want to explore further, preferably with a therapist.

Each individual has the right to say no to sexual activity. Treating it as a huge deal, trying to control the person and getting them to do it -despite- the fact that they said no, is abusive. I commend you for recognizing that this is a mistake and seeking help for it, because it is unacceptable behaviour.