Im going to do the IFS process with what IFS calls a "part". in IFS "parts" are not alternate personalities. "in IFS "parts" are a persons own emotions, feelings, behaviors, thoughts. how they are on a normal every day basis. this normal how you are every day not dissociated you is divided up into groups.

there is no bad parts and no bad self even when bad things happen the part and self is never bad.

the self .... is times when you are feeling secure, happy, self assured, relaxed, not triggered, not dissociated, not having any negativity. you are able to listen and respond to feedback in a positive way.

subpersonalities are when you are feeling moody, angry, nervious all your negative emotions and negative behaviors. when you as a fully aware person wants to act out or do wrong.

exiles just IFS language for trauma, trauma feelings, when you are feeling hurt and pushing the trauma and feelings away from you, deflecting / ignorinig your trauma and resulting feelings/ emotions from going through trauma, again in IFS this is just how normal human beings react after going through trauma.

managers... in IFS language this is when you are getting busy taking care of things in your life, scheduling your appointments, cleaning house, doing your school work, doing all those things to manage your daily things..taking control of your life and things you do

firefighters... when in this mind set is when you are noticing problems and nipping the problem, solving problems, sometimes in not so good ways, some people to solve the problem when their trauma feelings come up self injure, or drink alcohol, (in IFS this is called putting out the exile fires) when in firefighter mode you are constantly fighting against letting the bad feelings/ trauma and so on come to the surface.

here is what it looks like in therapy......

Im feeling numb..

therapist.... lets find the part that is having a problem right now. Where in your body do you feel the part?

Amandalouise....... I dont feel a part in my body. when the alters are in control I am not aware. I am not co conscious with them. my body feels nothing but numb, my head feels kind of foggy and I feel like I am sinking.

Therapist can you tell me the name of the part that is making you feel this way?

amandalouise... no I am still here fully aware there is no feelings related to any of my alters.

therapist .... where in your body are you noticing these feelings of your parts?

Amandalouise.... I told you already I am not feeling any of my alters. I dont feel their emotions, I do not hear their thoughts, I do not know what they are doing when they are in control.

Therapist ok lets move on to the next step of IFS Turn your attention inside your body and try to separate yourself from the feelings that you do feel.

Amandalouise... separate from feeling numb, yea ok to do that I need to dissociate and I cant dissociate/ sink into this chair at will.

Therapist.... take a deep breath now look at the numbness as another person what do you think the numbness would look like?

Amandalouise... the numbness is not a person its a feeling. to imagine its a person thats a bit nuts but ok if this numbness was a person it would not be a person because its nothingness. I feel nothing thats what my numbness is not feeling a thing.

Therapist .... ok lets just continue with the IFS can you see the numbness.

Amanda louise.... no its nothing to see. there is nothing there is no feelings at all nothing connected to it.

Therapist ok lets move on to the next part. since you can not see the numbness how do you experience it...

anandalouise... theres nothing no feelings at all thats how I experience this feeling that IFS says is a part. nothing I feel no emotions I feel nothing physical just nothing.

therapist.... ok lets move on to the next step how close are you to this part.

Amandalouse.... how close am I to the numbness. its nothing thats all it is nothingness. considering this is my body looks like Im as close to it as I can get, Im wearing it (the body)

Therapist ..... how do you feel about this part

Amandalouise.. I dont feel anything for or against the numbness. Im not feeling any pain no emotions nothing just here.

Therapist are you curious or wanting a connection with it?

amandalouise... no you cant connect to thin air nothingness. theres no emotions or physical feelings attached to my feeling numb. Im just numb.

therapist... is this part influencing your thoughts and behaviors.

amandalouise .... no its numbness not a human being. its not something that can say hey amanda lets go rob a bank

therapist..... ok lets move on to the next step can you see yourself making friends with this part.

Amandalouise... oh yea right lets shake hands with nothing. come om already this is ridiculas pretending feelings are people. can you show me how to be friends with nothing. there is no one sitting over there, there is no one to shake hands with. Im just feeling numb, feelings are just feelings.

Therapist..... what does numbness want from you?

amanda nothing. I am just not feeling anything right now. Not feeling doesnt have a brain to say hey amanda I want you to what ever. its just how I an feeling right now.

Therapist... ok I get what your saying but bear with me for this last question.. If and I say If numbness was a person what would happen if it stopped doing its job.

amanda in other words and not IFS what would happen if instead of feeling numb I let myself feel ? why all the run around crap when you could have jsut asked me that to begin with. we just wasted 10 minutes of walking through these questions when I could have answered 10 minutes ago if I wasnt numb I would be feeling the trauma I went through,

and there you have it the whole IFS process using one of my common dissociation symptoms.

believe it or not there is a reason why in trainings they caution treatment providers about using this with DID people.

Again Im not saying its not done. Im saying it doesnt work for me. there are some that go beyond the training classes and use it with DID. but I am not one of them...

I had no co consciousness abilities to be able to answer any of the questions that are ask in this therapy process.

I am glad it works for some but for me and those that I know it does not.