That is a good point, ennie. As a Codependent myself, I'm very empathetic and sensitive when others tell me their problems; even when I barely know the person. I need to stop being so open with my boundaries like that because it never benefits me. Never. For some reason, it's programmed in me to "serve" others with my emotional self, as a Codependent. It doesn't earn me friendships or respect from people, being emotionally available. Either I'm connecting with all toxic people, or, my lack of emotional boundaries are so obvious to other people, they shun me socially without directly having to say, "you're too needy, so I don't want to socialize with you."

Narcs are notorious list makers. Every guy I ever dated who was a Narc, keep a list/kept track of all of our disagreements, or things he didn't like about me, and would use that list every time we had a fight. It's a pattern I can see very clearly now, as I look back on all of my romantic connections with guys. They all follow that pattern.

And, I know all about Melody Beatie's books on Codependency. But I think because I'm 48, I just think I can't break my pattern of neediness -- that is, needing to be needed by other people, to feel accepted. I shouldn't have to offer people something -- whatever that may be -- to get them to like me. I know this. But, I still do it; "Hey I can do [this and that] for you," thinking that will mean the person will reciprocate or will want to be my friend. But nope. Never works out that way. I can see that as a dysfunctional pattern with my social life. But, so far, I can't change it. I want to, but it won't change.