Hi alexandra, It feels more then you can bear, it is gut wrenching grief that makes us question our lives and beliefs. Somehow we hold onto the knowing that it softens and turns with time. Crying and sobbing and looking at it from all directions is good. But, we first must recognize that it is severe pain and changes our lives. Then we can move on. I do like hugs, just am a little weary of the cyber hug thing. But I take your hugs and return my own to you for strength on your journey.