I’ve remembered and forgotten it throughout my life at various times, but it came up recently and I’m overwhelmed...

I was so shocked and uncomfortable...
... it makes me feel sick to think about it...
I felt so ashamed I never told anyone...
...I felt guilty that I never helped the guy with his bet but also ashamed that he “chose” me, that I must have done something to cause it...
... I have a feeling I got more than one call but it is too foggy to remember...
... I also remember having a recurring dream of being kidnapped by a man. I basically pushed it out of my mind and haven’t worried about it, just labelled it as “that weird thing that happened to me.” Coming up again, it’s wrapped up in shame and fear...
...but I haven’t been able to read it yet. I start feeling quite sick and dizzy.