I'm always disappointed at everyone, to the point I set high standards for other people and those who don't meet these standards are just trash to me.

People hasn't ever treated me fairly, especially my family. This hasn't only developed sociopathic traits in me, but also misanthrophy and some paranoia towards others. Most of the times I think people's just criticising me constantly, thinking that everything I do is wrong even though I'm pretty sure their "arguments" are just emotion-based (they may be resentful at me, I guess). Anyways, it's something that makes me stronger. Despise I may be too fake and cruel to people, I would say I just learnt to be what everyone is in reality: evil.

Why bother caring about anyone else, when no one showed care for you? Why make them feel good, when they never felt good for you? I thought I had friends who really cared for me when I was younger, but when I told them my problems and I showed them that I really needed help, they just ignored me or starting laughing of my problems. When this happens a lot, and not only with a minority of people, you just feel like they don't deserve you. You start getting angry, sick of everyone, even the ones you haven't meet yet, and at the end of the day, you are still resentful for all the times they've betrayed your sympathy.

I do have some friends though, I would say one at this moment. But I can't stop being a jerk even with her, when she hasn't done anything wrong to me, when she treated me as a friend and really showed care, I just keep screwing it up. She's got a low self-esteem, and I do take profit of that. Even if I find shame for what I've done, I can't stop doing it. People have disappointed me, and now I can't feel much for anyone.