Hello sirprize: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest would be the relationships & communication forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rela...communication/

You might also like to check out the men-focused support forum:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/men-focused-support/

I'm sorry I don't think I really have much in the way of advice for you here. If this truly is the end of your relationship with this lady I guess what I can perhaps say is that time really does heal wounds. You will never forget her. But the pain you feel now will subside. There is a practice I use to manage disturbing thoughts. It is called compassionate abiding. Here's a link to a description of the practice:

Relieve Distress By Allowing It: Compassionate Abiding 101 | Mindset: Perspective Is Everything

And then here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of healing from heartbreak:

Help on Healing from Heartbreak

10 Tips to Mend a Broken Heart

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/succe...ow-to-recover/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...ng-heartbreak/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/growth...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.