This question of yours has sparked quite a discussion, Fuzzy.

Reading through the carefully thought-out responses - and being clearly in the minority! - I'm feeling the need to clarify my original post.

No way am I advocating that anyone live a lie or go around being phony. Personally I've spent a lifetime trying to work my way into authenticity, to find a way to be OK with it.

No, what I was talking about originally was achieving more social ease in situations where you pretty much have to be social. I hate to be uncomfortable with people, and I prefer that people not be uncomfortable with me. So what I try to achieve is being real without being hurtful. If being "real" means being rude or mean to people, then I don't want to do it.

I guess what I'm advocating is known as good manners, and that attitude has worked for me.

That it may not work for other people is their business, absolutely.