It's good that you have a family member that is trustworthy. It feels nice you have family that validates your feelings and stuff. There's only so much we can do for you online.. also talk to your wife too. she seems understanding. talk to your therapist too. get it out... keep a journal...

did you ever go to Rape & Sexual Abuse Survivor Message Board, Online Support & Chat Room ? it have information for sexual assault survivors and information for LGBT survivors. There's also a forum you can join... i'm also on there... I have the same name on it as on here. it's takes time to join because you need to be accepted before you join. it's safe and certain part of the board is privet so no one can look you up.