OK T, most likely now I will not hear from you until Tuesday if at all. This sucks, I don’t want to be this needy even if you do understand. Next week is going to be a hard one. H and have been discussing my going inpatient all week. I know where I want to go but it isn’t covered by our insurance and it would be at least June before I could go. I don’t think I have until June left in me. I dont know where else to go or what else to do though that could help me. All the doctors think because I am not crying and Sui that I am OK. I’m not. I’m so very not. I know you are trying as hard as you can because you don’t know how I am still standing or how much longer we have until I collapse but we are there... just no one will listen because there is no drama or tears.