I don’t know how you could tell this from what I’ve written- I went back and reread it and don’t see it in there. But I do think you might be right. Exactly that has been dawning on me. That I’m angry. I’m not more angry than sad or disappointed or depressed. I’d say that I’m a lot more sad than angry. But I’ve never been angry before. I don’t even know how to feel angry or recognize it. So feeling it at all, even a drop of it, is completely shocking.