Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
I’m around. I stopped seeing my T and Pdoc and am surviving off of leftover meds. I don’t want to go back but will eventually have to or end up in the hospital. Everyone thinks I’m taking it properly but I’m not. I just want to be done with this mental health ****. I probably have 2 mths of meds the way I’m taking them.
. I wish I was someone else. I hate not being sunshine and rainbows. Even on meds I’m not a smiley
Person. Maybe it’s the scizo part? It’s only a matter of time before DH leaves me. My son is spending a lot of his time at his friends house. I may be getting paranoid. I don’t think I can stand dropping to the 7.5 mg I’m supposed to be on. I wish I had someone I could talk to that I didn’t feel like they’re trying to hospitalize me or I’m in trouble.
My parents won’t be coming to his graduation next year. They don’t see it as a big deal because he’s smart. (they’re making a huge deal about my sister’s kid’s graduating). I was already asked why I would throw a party for him but they throw the party for my nephew. Miguel notices this. He worked his *** off to graduate both mentally and physically. Finishing high school is a huge deal. It’s not like he’s stable. I’m just happy he continues to breathe. No one sees his struggle. I can’t imagine how hurt he must feel. Yes he has been there when they said this. I was told if he graduates in December then they’ll go.
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I am so sorry life is especially difficult right now. The most important thing to focus on is your health. I understand wanting to push the boundaries but it almost always ends bad for me. Is there anyone in your circle who you can talk honestly with and not be judged? I think bouncing ideas off others always helps as long as its the right person. Otherwise we are here for you. Stay safe and keep posting.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features
PTSD
"Phew! For a minute there I lost myself."
'Karma Police' by Radiohead